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   As I looked at the “Good Friday” scripture and all The Lord went through, my mind was drawn to His words in Luke 22:42, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” (NASB). As a human it was impossible, He wanted to be spared. But, as the Son of God it was possible.  He had to “drink the cup” to fulfill God’s plan, His will.  He had to go through every step, not skipping any, not taking an easier way.

How then should we expect an easier path if God intends us to go through a hard time?  So many times we just want it easier, smoother. But, that is not what Jesus finished His prayer with. It is okay for us to ask for “the cup” to be removed. But, less we lose the blessing of the plan, we should finish with,  “yet not my will, but Yours be done.”  How often do we miss the blessing by not willingly accepting His cup. 

Last June I wanted “the cup” removed instantly.   It was hard to ask for His will be done. My mind wasn’t working completely as it was.   But, I kept asking for His help. Often discouraged, and confused, with fears for what would happen next, I kept alert for the next “sip”.  One drop at a time. Patience alluded me at times. But, The Comforter was always there to help any momentary lapses. 

 In the past nine months, since my subarachnoid and intracranial bleeding stroke, I have gone through a myriad of contemplations.  I have short term memory loss so I take lots of notes. I have to reread what I’ve written in hopes of getting my thoughts on paper before I forget them again.  Our brains are so complex.

 God gave us 100% of a brain and allows most of us access to only 10%.  Can you image how mankind would wreck havoc if we could access all of our brain?  Super computers would not begin to describe them. It is no wonder God only allows us to access so little and that we come here as infants to ‘grow into’ the knowledge our brain can achieve.  

For me part of my brain died. I have been on a  rollercoaster ride of unbelievable magnitude as I learn to maneuver through and around my damaged brain.  I am brain damaged but, not brain dead.  The part that died cannot be made alive.   But, so much more is waiting to be used by His grace.  It reminds me of how I am to be dead to sin and not pick it up again. Grow and move on.  

There have been some hurdles that felt insurmountable as I learned to access other parts of my brain for speech, strength, swallowing… Everything. I am a miracle. Though part of my face feels numb and I’ve trained my throat to swallow without strangling; though my right side is weak and tingling and my head has hurt for 9 months, I am getting well. I function normally. I work full time. Each day I am better, stronger.  One sip at a time. The cup was not taken from me nor given all at once.  I have no doubt God could have made me whole instantly. He chose not to heal me instantly. My cup was full and I had to learn to sip it slowly. I have grown with each sip. 

Jesus took His cup.  As  Christians we will have cups if we are to become more like Him. Someday I may know how many cups I was spared, how many I refused, and the blessings I gained through the ones I accepted by His Grace. 
One sip at a time. One step at a time. Trust. Obey. 

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Brandon Christian Writers

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